realization

i am a fool, i know. i would give it all up in a moment to be swept away in this with you, but the emotion of a stolen happiness is temporary. being in love is all ups and downs. like a crack high. the addicts continue because the need for those ups, the memory of them, obscures the despair of the downs. the body has no physical memory of pain. that's why women can have babies. or to live life on an even keel? life plods by day by day. no pain, but no

miraculous moments of joy
when you are fulfilled
and you know that this is where you are meant to be.

and that is my choice to make. oh to fling it all away and tread those treacherous cliffs. to fall off regardless of consequences. but, but, none of us are truly masters of ourselves.