reunion

i am always doubtful about seeing you; wondering what emotion this meeting might evoke, if any; it's safer by far not to see you, or if i must, to see you in the company of others; their voices, their laughter like insulation, filling in the spaces across which our eyes meet, guarding us (or is it just me?) from the danger of falling through the cracks into an alternate reality where your fingers might brush past mine. for those few seconds, the promise that hung over the shadow and silence of that confessional night might have become real. and i would not have been able to forget.

i hardly think of you now, really. i hope that's true. i hope that that name that springs to my lips in unguarded moments doesn't betray me. i hope that you have become a habit instead of a possibility.